Diet Cookies

After being married a few weeks and because of my new wife’s cooking, I noticed one morning that my belt was feeling tighter.

I tried cutting back for several days but this did not seem to help and I was reaching the point of letting my belt out one more notch. It was obvious, to me, that something more drastic was the next step for controlling my girth.

I started mentally making my plan to regain, or should I say, “Re-lose” the extra pounds I had so eagerly added. We overeat and the weight seems to add quickly. We then starve ourselves by dieting and the weight lingers on for days, weeks, months, and years before deciding to leave our body and transfer to someone else. Unfortunately, for some, the weight becomes part of us, and never transfers.

It was at this time I was contemplating dieting and found the solution to my weight gain. Diet Cookies!

I immediately grabbed the biggest box of the cookies I could find on the shelf. Went back to work and ate the box of diet cookies. I was a little disappointed the weight didn’t immediately fall off, but I figured that since it took a few weeks to gain the weight, that I might have to wait a few days to see a significant result.

I came home from work and told my newly wed wife how excited I was to finally find something that tasted good and would help me lose weight. “What is it?” she inquired. I promptly responded with, “Diet Cookies.”

“Great,” she said. “Bring the rest of the box to the dinner table and we will have them for dessert.” It was this precise moment that I realized that my wife didn’t understand dieting. I failed to realize she, being very slim and shapely, wouldn’t understand the details of dieting.

They’re all gone,” I said. She said, “What do you mean they are all gone?” I now realized that something might be amiss and my exuberant joy was fading. “They’re all gone,” I repeated. “I ate the whole box at lunch.”

I received a blank stare. “What? They were a box of diet cookies. Instead of eating lunch, I just ate the box of diet cookies. Isn’t this a great way to lose weight?”

It was then I received a loving education on “Diet Cookies”, serving sizes, and nutrition. We finished our evening meal and I think my new wife had a pudding dessert ready.

In reality, the “Diet Cookies” were overrated anyway.

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